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4 Min Read
He's so wet, so weak, so powerless--he's a bachelor in distress.
And if his damsel won't save him, he'll just die in this shower, I guess...

5 Min Read
'Tis a tragedy! 'Tis a mystery! My cheese has gone missing in the middle of the night!
Show yourself, fiend--dare you step into the light...

13 Min Read
Six years and 340 posts in, and still no book deals-ies?
Sweet White Jesus, this is getting old pretty quick for reals-ies...

6 Min Read
This is the story of two brothers, one a hero, one forgotten to time.
A tale telling that it really matters how you get to that finish line...
6 Min Read
Ya know how they say 'the squeaky wheel gets the grease'?
Um, let's just say ya funk with Dunkin, won't be no drinking yo' coffee in peace...

6 Min Read
Excuse me, ma'am--EXCUSE ME--Yoo-hoo! My eyes are up here.
Say, it's not polite to let yo' gaze linger so long anywhere near, uh, um, er...

6 Min Read
I swear, you can't leave your kid home alone for 20 minutes before things go to sh*t. So tell me, Pro Parent, how you plan to deal with it...

5 Min Read
I ain't green like Kermit, and I ain't orange like Ernie nor yellow like his rubber ducky.
Why, ain't no reason why I'm so darn lucky...

6 Min Read
You can't always trust yo' multi-cultural money-making schemes to go as planned.
Fear not tho! Your wife's street cred can lend you a hand...

6 Min Read
So you think you've gotten away with pulling off the ultimate dad joke?
But it turns out that is too soon that you have spoke...
Featured Posts











7 Min Read
Here’s a fun fact: not all Valentine’s Day stories are hot steamy messes of eroticism and romantic escapades. Now that I think about it…do any of them ever really turn out that way? Well, reality check aside, you can bet your sweet heart-shaped ass that I’ve got a Valentine’s Day tale for you. Even better, […]

4 Min Read
Young man, pay no heed to the siren's call of 90s technology!
It's not worth the cost for some sweet eye candy (and I mean that literally...)

5 Min Read
The teacher smiled an evil smile as her devious plan came together.
But when that plan done blew up in her face? That was oh so much better...

6 Min Read
What's that? You're worried that maybe this ahistoric moment in sports may have scarred me for life?
Just wait until see the other guy...

4 Min Read
That sweettooth of yours already got you in trouble once, kid.
But just you wait until Dad discovers the second half of the damage you did...

4 Min Read
I’m not quite Over The Hill yet, but you know how I can tell it’s clearly coming up over the horizon? Wait–that’s a poor invocation of that metaphor. To be more accurate: you now how I can tell I’m pretty much firmly atop the Hill, mere months away from tumbling down the other side? Two […]

5 Min Read
Most people can't quite put their finger on what feels 'off' about their lives.
At least until what's 'off' is a little too 'on the nose'...

6 Min Read
The problem with not knowing the truth is that your imagination might run wild.
You know, like "Girls Gone Wild" wild ...

4 Min Read
Ok, so my middle name really isn’t “Physics.” It was all just marketing. You see, when I was an undergraduate at Kansas State, there was a solid 3 semesters in which I was a Secondary Education major. Yes, I had actually convinced myself that I was destined to be a high school physics teacher. It […]

10 Min Read
“Today’s a good day to dress like a tourist–I would even argue that it’s the perfect day to dress like one!” One year ago this very day, the beautiful French morning was slipping away, and I couldn’t believe I was wasting time defending my choice of vacation attire. The Boss Lady and I had decided […]
Random Posts











5 Min Read
The teacher smiled an evil smile as her devious plan came together.
But when that plan done blew up in her face? That was oh so much better...

7 Min Read
How will you ever know if the reason for that silly paint mix-up was merely asinine?
It's quite possible the truth will blow your mind...

7 Min Read
You ever wonder why you fought with your dad so much when you were a teen?
Oh, if only we could ever get to the root of it...

5 Min Read
Oh, to be sick and just trying to get by (or maybe just trying to get high).
Oh, the places you will go, oh the drugs you will buy...

4 Min Read
Nothing really matters, 'tis all but a dream!
So ahead we shall go--full-stream!

< 1 Min Read
The Year: 1999, Summer Time. Location: Our Family Farm.
Excitement Level? "Never A Dull Moment"...

4 Min Read
It's a war--a war on bugs, that is.
But I think I have may chosen the wrong side…

3 Min Read
"Uh...did you say 'semen'?"

3 Min Read
Secrets lurk in the dark, waiting to ambush you.
And they're coming for your precious little family, too...

4 Min Read
When I was 11 or 12 years old, I remember having a conversation with my dad, Bob J., about something that had happened recently on our farm. I don’t remember exactly what it was–it wasn’t anything of real consequence–but I remember being slightly surprised that this was the first I was hearing of this event. […]
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