Latest Posts











4 Min Read
He's so wet, so weak, so powerless--he's a bachelor in distress.
And if his damsel won't save him, he'll just die in this shower, I guess...

5 Min Read
'Tis a tragedy! 'Tis a mystery! My cheese has gone missing in the middle of the night!
Show yourself, fiend--dare you step into the light...

13 Min Read
Six years and 340 posts in, and still no book deals-ies?
Sweet White Jesus, this is getting old pretty quick for reals-ies...

6 Min Read
This is the story of two brothers, one a hero, one forgotten to time.
A tale telling that it really matters how you get to that finish line...
6 Min Read
Ya know how they say 'the squeaky wheel gets the grease'?
Um, let's just say ya funk with Dunkin, won't be no drinking yo' coffee in peace...

6 Min Read
Excuse me, ma'am--EXCUSE ME--Yoo-hoo! My eyes are up here.
Say, it's not polite to let yo' gaze linger so long anywhere near, uh, um, er...

6 Min Read
I swear, you can't leave your kid home alone for 20 minutes before things go to sh*t. So tell me, Pro Parent, how you plan to deal with it...

5 Min Read
I ain't green like Kermit, and I ain't orange like Ernie nor yellow like his rubber ducky.
Why, ain't no reason why I'm so darn lucky...

6 Min Read
You can't always trust yo' multi-cultural money-making schemes to go as planned.
Fear not tho! Your wife's street cred can lend you a hand...

6 Min Read
So you think you've gotten away with pulling off the ultimate dad joke?
But it turns out that is too soon that you have spoke...
Featured Posts











5 Min Read
In the timeless words of Frank Costanza, "I've got a lot of problems with you people, and you're going to hear all about it!"
So, Harvey, if you're listening, this grievance is for you...

< 1 Min Read
It's that most wonderful time of the year:
Time for a heaping serving of our creme de la creme...

4 Min Read
What do you do when you realize there's no time left on your collegiate clock?
Well, that's when you best call in the BWC (Big White Cauc)...

6 Min Read
Face it: your science project sucked, but it can't be that bad, right?
On the bright side, at least that nightmare is finally over...

6 Min Read
Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus, with his Pillow-Sack-Of-Fun...

5 Min Read
It all started just like any other regrettable college moment:
"Chug! Chug! Chug..."

4 Min Read
That sweettooth of yours already got you in trouble once, kid.
But just you wait until Dad discovers the second half of the damage you did...

3 Min Read
"Son, you really gotta stop rubbing-your-dub."
Welp. This was going to be awkward...

4 Min Read
Boy, you got yourself some pretty hair there.
But with great beauty comes great responsibility, son, so you better beware...

6 Min Read
Sometimes, the drunken truth can be the most sobering thing of all...
Random Posts











6 Min Read
Sure, Dad, LOTS of people were cool with hearing news 6 months after the fact.
They were called "People who lived before the 1840s..."

10 Min Read
Around 6:45 we roll up to Jack's place out in the country, and are greeted by a small gaggle of older men with grizzled beards and clad in cover-alls. I suspect that the dualing banjoes from Deliverance was playing in the Boss Lady's head in that moment, as she clearly had a so-called WTF?!? look on her face as she tried to figure out exactly what type of surprise was in store for her.

6 Min Read
Attention, all you agriculturally ignorant city-slickers out there!
This one's for you...

5 Min Read
On that day, there was terror in the air.
And every single passenger on that plane knew that it was coming from back there...

5 Min Read
Ah, it's that time of year to fondly remember those men we call 'Dad'.
Just try not to remember TOO many details, though...

9 Min Read
Editor’s note: This is the 3rd installment of the Prissy Pet Project. While not required reading, it may be helpful to have previously read Epitaph: A Preface to Passive Income Adventures to Come and (more importantly) Prissy Pet Project Parte Primera. Journal Date: 22 November 2019 (Friday) To bring everyone up to speed, a few […]

8 Min Read
What do you say to the unapproving insurance rep who doesn't want to pay for your sea-side condo because it's too fancy?
"Beach, please..."

6 Min Read
The good news? I might have just made a new best friend.
The bad new? Look, amigo, I ain't got time for no buddy…

4 Min Read
Disclaimer: no gold was harmed in the making of this film.
But, fellas, you're probably not going to like it when you hear what was harmed...

6 Min Read
The problem with not knowing the truth is that your imagination might run wild.
You know, like "Girls Gone Wild" wild ...
The latest word on the street