Latest Posts











4 Min Read
He's so wet, so weak, so powerless--he's a bachelor in distress.
And if his damsel won't save him, he'll just die in this shower, I guess...

5 Min Read
'Tis a tragedy! 'Tis a mystery! My cheese has gone missing in the middle of the night!
Show yourself, fiend--dare you step into the light...

13 Min Read
Six years and 340 posts in, and still no book deals-ies?
Sweet White Jesus, this is getting old pretty quick for reals-ies...

6 Min Read
This is the story of two brothers, one a hero, one forgotten to time.
A tale telling that it really matters how you get to that finish line...
6 Min Read
Ya know how they say 'the squeaky wheel gets the grease'?
Um, let's just say ya funk with Dunkin, won't be no drinking yo' coffee in peace...

6 Min Read
Excuse me, ma'am--EXCUSE ME--Yoo-hoo! My eyes are up here.
Say, it's not polite to let yo' gaze linger so long anywhere near, uh, um, er...

6 Min Read
I swear, you can't leave your kid home alone for 20 minutes before things go to sh*t. So tell me, Pro Parent, how you plan to deal with it...

5 Min Read
I ain't green like Kermit, and I ain't orange like Ernie nor yellow like his rubber ducky.
Why, ain't no reason why I'm so darn lucky...

6 Min Read
You can't always trust yo' multi-cultural money-making schemes to go as planned.
Fear not tho! Your wife's street cred can lend you a hand...

6 Min Read
So you think you've gotten away with pulling off the ultimate dad joke?
But it turns out that is too soon that you have spoke...
Featured Posts











6 Min Read
What would Jesus do?"
Surely not be giving out rides when it's not his car...

6 Min Read
Sometimes, the drunken truth can be the most sobering thing of all...

5 Min Read
Was the question: "Eh, what's up, Doc?"?
Ah, hell naw, the answer should never be "malpractice insurance premiums and patient death rates"...

8 Min Read
With graduation season nigh upon us, I thought what would be better than to take a moment to celebrate such achievements and milestones in our lives? Not to #HumbleBrag, but my Ph.D. graduation ceremony only lands at #2 on my list of diplomas that I’m ----- proud of earning. No, the #1 spot came many […]

4 Min Read
Are you sick and tired of prom themes that over-promise and under-deliver?
Well, have I got just the theme for you...

4 Min Read
"...what does one do when the Confederate-flag-on-a-hockey-stick games begin?"

< 1 Min Read
It's that most wonderful time of the year:
Time for a heaping serving of our creme de la creme...

5 Min Read
Sometimes you get "close, but no banana." But even worse is when you get "close, and all banana"...

4 Min Read
Well, it was either "ignoble death" or "registered sex offender for life."
I quickly came to terms that I was probably going to die right there in the water...

< 1 Min Read
The Year 2021: The Year of the Endless Home Renovation.
Pfft! More like "The Year We Almost Ended Up Homeless"...
Random Posts









5 Min Read
It was the greatest prank--hah! I summed it up in less than 2 sentences!
But I bragged about it, and now? Oh the never-ending consequences...

5 Min Read
"I hope there is a special extra-toasty, extra-pointy anus-bound-pitchfork place in hell for them."
< 1 Min Read
A fun fact about me: I’m a physicist by training, with several scientific publications in chemistry journals. Good news, though: those factors are surprisingly irrelevant to today’s life-tip. So no worries, Mate; I won’t be spitting scientific deep cuts at you today. The gravity I want to talk about here is the gravity of the […]

13 Min Read
As I oh-so-ramblingly mentioned in my most recent post, Epitaph, I have greater plans for this blog than it just being a written repository of every single memory I can conjure up. I actually hope to provide useful information for my Dear Readers. I know, I know. It’s a ludicrous proposition. I’ll give you a […]

7 Min Read
You were told that you just had to ask to get your money back.
But with these clowns you instead find that your sanity is under attack...

7 Min Read
Ahh, Early March: perhaps most widely remembered as a nation-wide period of mourning, year in and year out. Feeling depressed around this time of the year, every year, without fail? Yeah. #MeToo. Most people go throughout life never knowing the reason behind this annual mood swing. If you count yourself amongst that legion, then count […]

5 Min Read
I ain't green like Kermit, and I ain't orange like Ernie nor yellow like his rubber ducky.
Why, ain't no reason why I'm so darn lucky...

4 Min Read
“About time…about —damn time.” That was my reaction when I read the clickbait article today confirming that Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure 3 was REALLY, TRULY HAPPENING. Sure, we have to wait over a year before it actually comes out, but we’ve waited 28 years thus far, so who can complain? I was 8 or […]

4 Min Read
He's so wet, so weak, so powerless--he's a bachelor in distress.
And if his damsel won't save him, he'll just die in this shower, I guess...
10 Min Read
Editor’s note: For the sake of keeping the running time of my weekly Sunday missives as close to 5 minutes as possible, this multi-thought musing has been split up into two parts. While each part has some entertainment and/or philosophical value by itself, they truly need to be read as a whole. For your convenience, […]
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