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4 Min Read
He's so wet, so weak, so powerless--he's a bachelor in distress.
And if his damsel won't save him, he'll just die in this shower, I guess...

5 Min Read
'Tis a tragedy! 'Tis a mystery! My cheese has gone missing in the middle of the night!
Show yourself, fiend--dare you step into the light...

13 Min Read
Six years and 340 posts in, and still no book deals-ies?
Sweet White Jesus, this is getting old pretty quick for reals-ies...

6 Min Read
This is the story of two brothers, one a hero, one forgotten to time.
A tale telling that it really matters how you get to that finish line...
6 Min Read
Ya know how they say 'the squeaky wheel gets the grease'?
Um, let's just say ya funk with Dunkin, won't be no drinking yo' coffee in peace...

6 Min Read
Excuse me, ma'am--EXCUSE ME--Yoo-hoo! My eyes are up here.
Say, it's not polite to let yo' gaze linger so long anywhere near, uh, um, er...

6 Min Read
I swear, you can't leave your kid home alone for 20 minutes before things go to sh*t. So tell me, Pro Parent, how you plan to deal with it...

5 Min Read
I ain't green like Kermit, and I ain't orange like Ernie nor yellow like his rubber ducky.
Why, ain't no reason why I'm so darn lucky...

6 Min Read
You can't always trust yo' multi-cultural money-making schemes to go as planned.
Fear not tho! Your wife's street cred can lend you a hand...

6 Min Read
So you think you've gotten away with pulling off the ultimate dad joke?
But it turns out that is too soon that you have spoke...
Featured Posts











6 Min Read
Quick question: do you have to actually know your neighbor before you call in that big favor?
Asking for a friend (or vice versa)...

4 Min Read
Valentine's Day is right around the corner, and it's time to get your funk on, baby! But first, you're gonna have to get that funk the funk off you...

5 Min Read
Amidst our many arguments, one thing was never up for debate.
Dad and I both knew that I could never drive that damn tractor straight...

4 Min Read
What's that? You can't resist picking up the phone every time it rings?
Of course I'd be happy to show you how to not do it. Of course...

5 Min Read
"Rah-rah-rah, hats off to thee! Wait one sec, let me double-check my family tree..."

4 Min Read
When traveling, being right on schedule is supposed to be a good thing.
Bodily functions, however, are a strong exception to that rule...

7 Min Read
If you love her, you'll give her whatever she needs.
Even if that "whatever" involves 8 gallons of oil...

4 Min Read
Oh man, Pony Boy just rolled into town.
You best believe that some horse sh*t is about to go down...

6 Min Read
No, not that kind of degeneracy. I’m talking about a much more refined and pretension degeneracy. Now, in quantum physics–and just bear with me for a few seconds–there’s this whole thing about being able to say what quantum state a group of particles1Or, more formally: a system. are in based on the result of some […]

5 Min Read
It all started just like any other regrettable college moment:
"Chug! Chug! Chug..."
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6 Min Read
At that point I was all but certain that I was stuck in the Twilight Zone. Probably the episode entitled "The Middle of Nowhere " at that...

2 Min Read
It's the end of the year, and of course we gots to take a look back.
You better buckle up , Bud, 'cuz you are in for a ton of fun, Jack...

2 Min Read
Hint: It was never really about the candy...

4 Min Read
As any pirate could tell you: "Loneliness is like a steering wheel in my pants:"
"Arggh! It drives me nuts..."

6 Min Read
That moment when: you find yourself with your shirt over your head.
Be warned, though: it's probably best not to curse the dead...

6 Min Read
The problem with not knowing the truth is that your imagination might run wild.
You know, like "Girls Gone Wild" wild ...

6 Min Read
How do you know if your condition requires immediate medical attention?
When the only way to describe it is with a Kevin Bacon reference...

9 Min Read
Editor’s note: This is the 3rd installment of the Prissy Pet Project. While not required reading, it may be helpful to have previously read Epitaph: A Preface to Passive Income Adventures to Come and (more importantly) Prissy Pet Project Parte Primera. Journal Date: 22 November 2019 (Friday) To bring everyone up to speed, a few […]

3 Min Read
Some call me The Human Garbage Disposal. Unfortunately, I thought that was a compliment...

6 Min Read
I'm not really a "Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am" kind of guy.
Me? I'm more of a "No Whammy! No Bammy! No thank you, Nurse Cami!" fella...
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