Okay, so maybe the title is a little misleading, in that I’ve thrown in a bonus kid-centric vignette alongside the couple of dreams that, in telling them, seem to be a totally appropriate way to celebrate the recently observed Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday.
Enjoy!
A few weeks ago, I took our two girls, The Elder (6) and The Younger (2) to the grocery store as per our usual routine.
However, while we normally go right around lunch or early afternoon, this particular day we had gone closer to dinner time and the natives were getting restless with hunger.
As I was loading them up The Elder made a not so unreasonable request.
The Elder: “Dad, do you think we could snack on something on the way home.”
Me: “Sure. Like what?”
The Elder: “Oh, how about some of the nuts you bought?”
Me: “Um…oh yeah, the cashews? Let me get some out of the back.”
Moments later…
Daddy’s nuts! Daddy’s nuts! We want Daddy’s nuts!
The Elder and The Younger, chanting loudly in unison
Me: “Shhhhh! That doesn’t mean the same thing to an adult as it does to you!”
Frankly,1Pun intended? I’m just relieved that happened in the privacy of our car and not in the middle of the store…
A couple of nights ago I had a dream that, for whatever reason, the Boss Lady needed to get vanity plates for her car.
Of course, there are many details of the dream that make no ----- sense–it was a dream after all–so I’ll try to keep it to either the interesting and/or relevant ones.
So she had to get vanity plates. Don’t know why it wasn’t optional, but whatever. We found ourselves in a…billiards parlor? I’m pretty sure that’s not what it was, but that’s the closest I can come to describing it.
We were there with 3-4 other people, most of whom we either knew at some point in our lives, or perhaps recognized from T.V., and we had formed a committee to tackle the dilemma at hand.
…along with an antique fortune-telling gumball machine. Yup. I’m pretty sure one of those was there, too, and was an integral part of the brainstorming process.
All that to say, we already had one pretty solid suggestion on hand,2Images generated at https://www.acme.com/licensemaker/
when inspiration hit me like a ton of bricks. As I went to blurt it out, the 55-year-old woman in the committee barely beat me to the punch, word-for-word.
I was like, “That was literally exactly what I was about to say! OMG, you stole the words out of my mouth!” Apparently, I desperately wanted credit for the idea.
Upon waking up, though, I realized that the debate over who got credit for option #2 was a moot point. After all, it was my dream, and we’ve already settled the debate over who gets credit in such situations.
Me. T’would be yours truly who gets sole credit for option #2:
I guess my subconscious decided to make no bones about the reality of the financial dynamics in my marriage…
When I awoke in the morning, I couldn’t wait to tell the Boss Lady about my witty AF dream. I was even more excited to see which one she would hypothetically choose.
While she chuckled at both ideas, she has been coy about which one she would actually go with, if forced to decide between the two.
Which is probably all for the better. As you may have noted, the simulated license plates from above are based on a vintage design from a bye-gone era when verbosity and vanity were not forced to be mutually exclusive. Sadly, modern North Carolina license plates are unable to contain the genius vanity-plate making skills I bring to the table.
In reality, her two choices could only be realized as:
or…
Huh…I think the idea gets a little lost in translation…
Damn me, and my unrealistic dreams.
In our last vignette, I hearken back to a dream I had several years ago, one which I tweeted about into the void of Twitter from a secret, follower-less account.
In it I was hanging out with a friend of from college. Since he still lives in Kansas, and I in North Carolina, we only see each other every couple of years.
In the course of catching up, I found out that [the dream version of him] had left his wife for…his mother-in-law.
Needless to say, I was shocked.
I was even more shocked, however, at how much sense his logic made:
Yeah, but I get to live in a really nice house.
dream version of my friend who literally shacked up with his mother-in-law
Content created on: 22 January 2020 (Wednesday)
Footnotes & References:
The chant from the girl was so cute. Too bad it wasn’t more public, an audience would have loved it coming from innocents of their age. You may have gotten a standing ovation for something like that. Xo
You’re response to that story made me literally laugh out loud. I’m glad you can see the humor in it.
Of course, it just realized that there are two very different interpretations for the phrase “Daddy’s nuts!”
1) “Daddy’s” is possessive, i.e. the nuts belonging to Daddy,
Or
2) “Daddy’s” is a contraction, i.e. Daddy is crazy.
Which one were you thinking?